Waiting for Happiness
Stop Waiting for Happiness
Are you constantly waiting for happiness to show up? I spent the majority of my life waiting which ended up dealing with constant anxiety and even depression. Here is what helps me every day to experience more happiness, less stress, less anxiety and way less depression. We have two mindsets we can focus on daily: simply stated negative thoughts and positive thoughts. According to Shirzad Chamine, author of Positive Intelligence, they are also labeled as the Saboteurs and the Sage perspective.
Naming the Negative Voices
The Judge is our main saboteur or put simply the instigator of most negative thoughts. The Judge finds fault with self, others, and circumstances. This saboteur causes much of our disappointment, anger regret, guilt, shame and anxiety. It also activates our accomplish saboteurs such as the Pleaser, Controller, Hyper-Achiever and more.
Lie #1 – You’ll Be Happy When…
One of the biggest and most damaging lies your Judge tells you every day is this…”Your current situation and circumstances are not good enough for you to be happy. You will be happy when ______.” Fill in the blank.
So think about how your Judge has finished this sentence all through your life. You will be happy…
- When you finally grow up and become independent from your parents.
- When you get into that college,
- When you graduate,
- When you get that job,
- When you get that promotion,
- When you buy that house,
- When you find that relationship,
- When you have that child, and so on, and so on
Now, think about it, when you finally got what you thought would make you forever happy. How long did your happiness last before your Judge again said “actually you don’t have what you need to be happy”.
“You will be happy when” and it created a new target so you could finally be happy one day.
Therefore, it’s important to ask yourself these questions:
- What is your Judge’s lie right now?
- What are you unhappy about right now?
- What situation or circumstance is bothering you right now that you’re waiting to change so you can be happy one day?
Whatever you are waiting for so you can be happy ONE day is the latest lie of your judge.
Tapping into the Positive Sage Mode
Likewise, your Sage knows that you have everything you need right now to be happy that’s because happiness depends entirely on which part of your brain is activated and dealing with your life’s challenges and what emotions you’re experiencing.
The Sage perspective is about accepting what is, rather than denying, rejecting, or resenting what is. Therefore, our Sage accepts every outcome and circumstance as a gift and opportunity. Our Sage is the exact opposite of many of the negative assumptions of the Judge.
For example, if you have failed at something your Sage would be focused on converting that failure into a gift using the five Sage modes of being deeply empathic, or curious, or creative, purpose driven or in calm, laser focused, clear headed action.
All these five Sage modes generate positive emotions, ranging from empathy, compassion and gratitude, to wonder, the joy of creativity to peace and calm.
When you’re feeling all these positive emotions, you’re happy, even if life circumstances haven’t gone your way. Therefore, happiness is an inner state of mind.
When you feel positive emotions, you have everything you need to be happy right now. Today intercept your Judge’s lie that you can’t be happy until something changes in your life. Therefore, stop waiting to be happy One day, choose to be happy Today.
If you are struggling, I get it and am here to help. In addition, you can take the Positive Intelligence assessment to identify your unique saboteurs. This is a quick 5 minute assessment that I can help you unpack during our time together.
