Tag Archive for: anxiety

waiting for happiness

Waiting for Happiness

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Stop Waiting for Happiness

Are you constantly waiting for happiness to show up? I spent the majority of my life waiting which ended up dealing with constant anxiety and even depression. Here is what helps me every day to experience more happiness, less stress, less anxiety and way less depression. We have two mindsets we can focus on daily: simply stated negative thoughts and positive thoughts. According to Shirzad Chamine, author of Positive Intelligence, they are also labeled as the Saboteurs and the Sage perspective.

Naming the Negative Voices

The Judge is our main saboteur or put simply the instigator of most negative thoughts. The Judge finds fault with self, others, and circumstances. This saboteur causes much of our disappointment, anger regret, guilt, shame and anxiety. It also activates our accomplish saboteurs such as the Pleaser, Controller, Hyper-Achiever and more.

Lie #1 – You’ll Be Happy When…

One of the biggest and most damaging lies your Judge tells you every day is this…”Your current situation and circumstances are not good enough for you to be happy. You will be happy when ______.” Fill in the blank.

So think about how your Judge has finished this sentence all through your life. You will be happy…

  • When you finally grow up and become independent from your parents.
  • When you get into that college,
  • When you graduate,
  • When you get that job,
  • When you get that promotion,
  • When you buy that house,
  • When you find that relationship,
  • When you have that child, and so on, and so on

Now, think about it, when you finally got what you thought would make you forever happy. How long did your happiness last before your Judge again said “actually you don’t have what you need to be happy”.

“You will be happy when” and it created a new target so you could finally be happy one day.

Therefore, it’s important to ask yourself these questions:

  • What is your Judge’s lie right now?
  • What are you unhappy about right now?
  • What situation or circumstance is bothering you right now that you’re waiting to change so you can be happy one day?

Whatever you are waiting for so you can be happy ONE day is the latest lie of your judge.

Tapping into the Positive Sage Mode

Likewise, your Sage knows that you have everything you need right now to be happy that’s because happiness depends entirely on which part of your brain is activated and dealing with your life’s challenges and what emotions you’re experiencing.

The Sage perspective is about accepting what is, rather than denying, rejecting, or resenting what is. Therefore, our Sage accepts every outcome and circumstance as a gift and opportunity. Our Sage is the exact opposite of many of the negative assumptions of the Judge.

For example, if you have failed at something your Sage would be focused on converting that failure into a gift using the five Sage modes of being deeply empathic, or curious, or creative, purpose driven or in calm, laser focused, clear headed action.

All these five Sage modes generate positive emotions, ranging from empathy, compassion and gratitude, to wonder, the joy of creativity to peace and calm.

When you’re feeling all these positive emotions, you’re happy, even if life circumstances haven’t gone your way. Therefore, happiness is an inner state of mind.

When you feel positive emotions, you have everything you need to be happy right now. Today intercept your Judge’s lie that you can’t be happy until something changes in your life. Therefore, stop waiting to be happy One day, choose to be happy Today.

If you are struggling, I get it and am here to help. In addition, you can take the Positive Intelligence assessment to identify your unique saboteurs. This is a quick 5 minute assessment that I can help you unpack during our time together.

 

How to Prevent Hormone Imbalances

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Are you hormones out of balance? Do you know what hormone imbalance looks and feels like? Symptoms range from mood issues, PMS, infertility and more, but these symptoms are just a few that women “deal with” and consider just part of being a woman. However, I am excited to share the fact that many of the negative symptoms relating to a woman’s reproductive health can be minimized or even avoided!

Symptoms of Imbalance

Menopause

Did you know, two-thirds of women suffer from menopausal symptoms?

As women age, hormone levels become imbalanced as the body produces less of them. Estrogen and progesterone, the two primary hormones, work together to perform their many and complex functions. Between the ages of 45-50, most women will cease to have a menstrual period, and this marks the beginning of the official menopause phase.

Symptoms of menopause can include hot flashes, night sweats, moodiness, and more. During this time is usually when women seek the advice of their physician or natural health practitioner for help to battle the “changes” of the phase.

Hot Flashes

Hot flashes occur when blood vessels near the skin’s surface expand to cool the body. They are the most frequent symptom of menopause and pre-menopause as two-thirds of all women suffer from them. Hot flash symptoms may include a red face, sweating, increased heartbeat, or chills. If they occur at night, they are called night sweats. Did you know that stress, caffeine, alcohol, spicy foods, tight clothing, heat, and smoke from tobacco products can trigger hot flashes?

Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS)

About 85% of women experience the misery of PMS symptoms (around 10% can be severe), and these symptoms, just like menopause symptoms, can be reduced greatly. Symptoms occur during or before the menstrual cycle which can include bloating, weight gain, aggression, cloudy thinking, head or backaches, cravings, anxiety, mood swings, and more. PMS is correlated to the body being out of balance, specifically the hormones progesterone and estrogen.

Balancing hormones with whole food nutrition

How would you like to experience freedom from the miserable symptoms of Menopause and PMS? To put the body back in balance you must choose whole, clean, unprocessed food, especially fruits, vegetables, and green leafies. What do I mean by whole, clean food?  Whole, clean food is the stuff straight from God and nature without additives, preservatives, pesticides, herbicides, and genetically modified organisms (GMOs). This means vine-ripened (picked at peak nutrient levels versus being picked green) or certified organic fruits and vegetables. According to the USDA, half of your daily intake of food should be from fruits, vegetables, and greens, which is approximately 7-13 servings!  Are you getting a variety of these on a daily basis?

In addition to whole, clean fruits and vegetables, we must not forget the importance of nuts and seeds (raw, unsalted) to supply fiber, protein, and essential fatty acids (EFA’s). These essential fatty acids are crucial to hormone regulation.  Nature provides these essentials through a variety of foods:

  • Extra Virgin Olive Oil, cold-pressed
  • Butter or ghee (from grass-fed, antibiotic, hormone-free animals)
  • Borage oil
  • Hemp seeds or oil
  • Nuts and nut butters especially almond and walnut
  • Coconut Oil
  • Flax seeds and oils
  • Seafood: wild (not farm-raised) cold-water fish and oils such as sardines and salmon.

As a necessary, basic component for balanced hormones, the body requires Essential Fatty Acids (g00d fats). Personally, I use a minimum of 2-4 Tablespoons per day of the oils listed above and strive to use different ones each week to ensure I receive a variety as each has unique properties. Additionally, EFA’s are necessary for the production of prostaglandins, which are the precursors to hormones.  Prostaglandins are important for the regulation of many bodily functions:

  • Inflammation, pain, and swelling
  • Blood pressure and heart function
  • Kidney function and balance
  • Allergic response
  • Immune response
  • Nerve transmission
  • Hormones
  • Steroid production and hormone synthesis
  • Blood clotting and red blood cell/platelet aggregation (stickiness)

The good prostaglandins prevent blood cells from sticking together, which leads to improved blood flow and reduced inflammation, therefore, reduced pain.

In summary, eating whole, clean, processed foods and increasing or adding EFA’s are two small foundational steps to balance the body and hormones.  What foods have you found that help balance the body when it comes to hormone health or what foods have you learned to avoid? Tell us in the comments below.

Busyness is Based in Fear

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I recently listened to an audio (How Did I Get So Busy) by Valorie Burton that really moved me. It was an aha moment learning that busyness is based in fear.

My goal this year is, believe it or not, to do LESS.  Don’t get me wrong, I want to help more people but want to find ways of reaching more without overextending myself in the process.  I have come to the conclusion that if I don’t practice self-care, I will not be able to serve those who need it most.

Busyness is often based on fear.  I heard the words but never really equated busyness with fear.  Valorie discusses some of the reasons why people stay busy.  It’s often the “what if?” questions that cause people to get caught up in the busyness cycle.

“What if I say ‘no’ to certain activities and let people down?”

or

“What if I slow down and I’m not able to accomplish everything I need to?”

“What if I stop taking on so much and discover people don’t need me as much as I thought they did?”

Often, people equate being busy with being significant.  We wear our busyness as a badge of honor.  Significance and busyness are not one and the same. One is about doing a lot and the other is about making an impact.  It is about being intentional.

 

So what can we do to stop the busyness cycle?

First, acknowledge there that busyness is a challenge in your life.

Second, know you can reclaim your schedule. You can make time for yourself and those who matter most to you. But you must be intentional about it. That means making sure your priorities are reflecting in your schedule and life .  Is Wellness a priority for you? Then make sure you plan for it every day.  It could be meal planning, grocery shopping, cooking, exercise, stress reduction or rest!

Is family a priority for you?  Be sure to connect with your spouse or children daily at breakfast, dinner through meaningful conversation and by being fully engaged.

The same holds true for reconnecting with yourself. Resting, self-reflection, vacation, hobbies, fun—these are all important aspects of living intentionally and fully. When these things get crowded out, it’s a sign that you’re too busy!

Need to know if you need a busyness detox?  Take the first steps toward better health and mental clarity today by booking a consultation today! I offer a 6-week program on helping you kick the busyness addiction that has been transformational for so many.